Got support?

Okay, I have to admit I stole that tagline. It was on the t-shirts sold last summer at the conference for Kaia’s syndrome, It’s emblazoned across the chest and is a little embarrassing to wear in public but I love it nonetheless.

I was talking with an old college friend today that just had her first baby a month ago. It made me realize how much support and connections I’ve encountered as a new mom. Paul and I have lived in Indianapolis for 7, almost 8 years now. I’ve made more friends in the past two years, since Kaia was born, that I did in the 7 years living here prior to that. I’ve sought out and accepted recommendations from others to social groups. Some have been more helpful than others.

My favorites are my CP Moms Group, a group started as a support group for moms with kids with CP but which also graciously extends their support to other moms with kids with special needs. Since so many kids with Kaia’s syndrome are misdiagnosed as having CP (or autism) I’ve found I have a lot in common with these ladies.

When I met them I really didn’t know any other moms with kids with special needs. In fact, the only other mom I knew that had a baby with special needs suffered the loss of her little girl, who passed away last August. That baby’s death was unexpectedly difficult for me. There were several emotions intertwined: the loss of the one person I knew locally who could relate to what I was experiencing (she moved to another state following the death), guilt (albeit irrational) over my child doing well, thriving and surviving, and empathy for her loss.

Shortly thereafter, a friend forwarded me info on the CP Moms Group and I attended the first group meeting in October, not sure what to expect. I found an incredibly supportive, well-educated, resource-seeking and sharing group of women. Our kids are different ages, with different abilities, but we share the experience of parenting a child with special needs. It truly is nice to know you’re not alone. We meet at least once a month sans kids and talk about our and our children’s challenges and triumphs. Sometimes we get together with kids for playtimes too.

Tonight I attended a writing project group for moms of kids with special needs. It isn’t restricted to certain diagnoses. I vacillated about going – would it be worth the effort (it’s a long drive, 40 minutes each way)? I decided since I didn’t have class this week that I would try it.

Again I discovered a group of women anyone would admire – women operating under a set of circumstances I could never admit to wanting (one has 3 children with an autism diagnosis) - yet they are committed to finding the joy (our topic for the night, although I’m told they delve into the darker side/emotions of having a child with special needs as well), sharing the most helpful resources, and who are just generally articulate, enjoyable people with whom to pass an evening.

The group intends to meet (and usually does) at a church that allows free use of meeting space, but tonight there was an issue with a locked door so we went to a local Mexican restaurant. Some of us had margaritas, there was no writing done, but there was much bonding and sharing. I think it was worth the effort. I also discovered a potential resource for the future for Kaia that could save us thousands of dollars. More about that later.

What are your sources of support?